godlessondheimite:

I would date an actor just so I can tell people that my boyfriend’s an actor and then they’d be like “oh? What’s he been in?” And I’d say “me” and raise my wine glass and laugh because in this scenario I’m at a fancy cocktail party.

(via stability)

422,752 notes

rivkahstudies:

marisatomay:

marisatomay:

marisatomay:

marisatomay:

marisatomay:

my brother has been criticizing me all day and he told me if i wasn’t happy i could go somewhere else so i wouldn’t ruin everyone else’s dinner so i took the massive bowl of pasta + special sauce i spent the last 2 hours making from scratch for the whole family and i left

it really is incredibly bold to mercilessly criticize the person who is not only making your dinner but also holding a knife

I sequestered myself in the other side of the house and ate my family-sized pasta from a mixing bowl using a serving spoon in the dark because the sun went down in the 2+ hours I spent stewing and I was too stubborn to turn on a light

the only person I shared my pasta with was my dad who on a conference call at the time and didn’t just stand there and watch my brother be an asshole like the rest of my family and since he came to me in my sanctuary with his bowl and asked nicely if he could have some pasta i did share with him

sometimes you’re an adult who has been quarantined with your parents, younger siblings, grandfather, and dog for the last 2 months because of a global pandemic and some nights you just have to take your pasta and Leave because you are an adult who knows when to tap the fuck out

OP thank you not only for the amazing image of you eating pasta in the dark and your father kindly pleading for your mercy but also a wonderful example of when to set firm boundaries and prioritize yourself bless u

(via movisual)

214,187 notes
41,381 notes

imaseawitch:

gaycism:

bummass:

Dove chocolate and Dove soap are two different companies who havent sued each other because they have different trademarks lol

Damn and I really all this time just thought dove (the soap people) had a meeting one day and were just like “…. we might fuck around and make some chocolate”

Finding out that Dove Soap and Dove Chocolates are different companies has the exact same energy as finding out that Michelin Tires and the Michelin Star Rating System (which rates the finest restaurants in the world) are actually the same company.

(via heart)

233,065 notes

veganhotchocolate:

hotmeat89:

Damn baby that iron defiencincy looks so sexy on you… hey wake up

noo don’t faint ur so pretty haha

(via thebootydiaries)

144,273 notes

mellenabrave:

just-shower-thoughts:

France was still using the guillotine when the first star wars movie came out

Me: That can’t be-

image
image

Me:

image

(via just-shower-thoughts)

6,995 notes

just-shower-thoughts:

You would never drive that close to a car coming at speed in the opposite direction to you if it weren’t for the line of paint on the ground between you.

1,341 notes